Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Arsenal, Lian Harper, Dick Grayson, Batman, or Oliver Queen. They all belong to DC Comics. I do not own the song "If I Had a Million Dollars". It belongs to the Barenaked Ladies. They really do have a million dollars. I really don't. Please keep this in mind and don't sue.

If I Had a Million Dollars...
By Smitty

If I had a million dollars…

Well, if I had a million dollars, then I'd be Dick Grayson.

We're both orphans. Both trained to be superheroes by our mentors. Only difference is, mine lost his fortune and became a martyr and Dick's—bastard though he might be—is still one of the richest men on earth and comes back from the dead on a regular basis.

As it turns out, even if the Big, Bad Bat weren't watching his back, Dicky-boy's independently wealthy. Seems his 'rents set him up with a trust fund that Brucie's financial whiz, Fox, turned into a fortune. Must be nice.

Me? I'm still eating my Kraft macaroni and cheese. No Dijon ketchup, either. No house; no furniture. No nice, reliable automobile. Not even any stinkin' health insurance. You ever try to get your little girl into a hospital emergency room without any health insurance? You ever walk through the zoo and have your daughter ask for a monkey? Good thing her Uncle Gar's around. He can be a monkey. Or a llama. Or an emu. If I had a million dollars, I would buy her a monkey. Haven't you always wanted a monkey? I could buy her a green dress—a whole closet full of them.

Titans Tower is rent-free and feeds me. All expenses covered. I've got a little saved, back from my days with the CBI, but I'm not touching that. After all, the Flying Grayson's aren't the only ones who can give their child a future. And I certainly don't need the money.

I'm not worried about me. 'Cuz I've got something a hundred times better than a million dollars. I've got Lian. My little angel. I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. I wouldn't even trade her to be Dick Grayson. I don't need a million dollars. As long as I have my baby, I'll be rich.

Fin

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