Third Rate Romance or Five Cheap Flings Samantha Carter Never Had

by Raisintorte

He was tryin' to keep his courage up by applyin' booze

If someone had told Samantha Carter that she would spend her Saturday afternoon sitting under a lab table drinking shots of tequila out of Dixie cups and having sex with Rodney McKay, she would have sent them to the infirmary for a mental health screening.

But that’s where she found herself, half-sitting, half-lying, under a lab table with Rodney McKay sprawled across her thighs as his fingertips traced mathematical symbols on her belly.

Rodney started going on and on about his brain and Atlantis and his legacy and Sam just kept wishing his hand would drift just a little higher or lower. Then she had to mentally kick herself because this was Rodney and she was not supposed want him like that.

And when he asked if she would have his baby if he died, and started to tell her the address of the sperm bank where he made his “deposit,” she realized he wasn’t going to figure out that she was willing to have sex with him. So she did what any Colonel in this situation would have done, she told him to shut up and put out or get out.

She felt Rodney’s entire body jolt with surprise and his hand slipped from her belly and slid to the floor with a flopping noise. And she thought for the first time in his life, Rodney McKay might just have been speechless.

She tilted his head up so he could see her face, looked him up and down, cocked her head to the side and re-issued the invitation with her eyes.

Rodney accepted by propping himself up on his elbows and devouring her mouth with his using the same level of intensity she’d only ever seen him give to his work.

Then his hand started wandering lower and his fingers started tracing mathematical symbols elsewhere. And she thought that having sex with Rodney McKay wasn’t really that insane of an idea after all.

Talk was small when they talked at all

Sam hadn’t been paying attention when she walked around the corner and right into the broad chest of Colonel Marshall Sumner.

She blushed and apologized when he nodded and gruffly said “excuse me” and started to walk away. She didn’t know what possessed her to follow and ask him if he was looking forward to the first attempt to dial Atlantis.

He responded with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and a look she thought screamed, “they made you a Colonel?” But then he asked if she wanted to head out and get a drink at O’Malley’s. She said yes and they headed up to the surface.

He led her around to an old Jeep and opened her door, she started to tell him that he didn’t have to, but stopped, it’s not like she had men offering to open cars doors for her every day.

There was a charged silence in the car and Sumner looked at her as if he was sizing her up in some way. She figured out why when he paused in front of the bar and gave a pointed look between the bar and the slightly seedy motel next door. Sam, against her better judgment, nodded in the direction of the motel and Sumner drove past the bar and into the motel parking lot.

He stopped the car and gave her another questioning look, as if giving her a chance to change her mind, and she thought why the hell not? and nodded her assent. Sumner got out of the car and headed towards a door marked "Office." He was back less then ten minutes later with a key.

She got out of the car and met up with him on the sidewalk. He led her up the stairs to Room 242 and opened the door.

And when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into the room she sighed and snuggled up against his chest.

He put his thumb on her chin, tilted her head up, and looked at her face as if he was trying to memorize every detail.

And then he leaned down and kissed her and she never thought she would be happy about accidentally running into someone in a hallway.

I'll even tell you that I love you if you want me to

Sam had heard so much about John Sheppard that she was almost disappointed when she met him and he didn’t have horns and a tail (if you listened Sumner) or Ancient genes so strong he made the technology get up and dance a merry little jig (according to Rodney).

In fact, she didn’t even know who he was until he sat down at her table in the mess and introduced himself. This was the man inciting more debates than Daniel did when he went off on one of his moralistic rants?

She was reading the newspaper and John asked if he could have the comics section. That was a new one. Jack stole the sports section, Daniel would appropriate the World News, Jonas took the weather, and Teal’c stopped reading the paper 8 years ago after he asked an innocent question about United States politics and was subjected to a two-day lecture from Daniel.

They finished eating and reading at the same time so they cleaned up and walked out together. Sam thought John was cute as she watched him walk with a light bounce in his step with non-regulation hair spiking out at many different angles. There was just something about him that made her want to grab his hand and drag him into a supply closet. And so she did.

When she closed the door, he lightly touched her hand, as if he was testing to see if she might jump away at the contact. So she leaned in and brushed her lips against his cheek.

That was all the encouragement he needed and the next thing she knew her back was against door and his mouth was on her neck and she was rethinking her position. She decided that John Sheppard really wasn’t a disappointment after all.

You don't look like my type but I guess you'll do

Sam had known Major Lorne for over three years, ever since the "incident" with the Unas on P3X-403, but she as she watched the supposedly straight laced major walk through the door of a seedy night club on the bad side of town, she realized she probably didn't know him very well at all.

Sam and Janet used to go to the club every few months, just to let off some steam and Sam had continued the tradition after Janet's death. She had been contemplating leaving when Major Lorne walked in, wearing a snug black tee shirt and faded, too-tight jeans.

If she hadn't been studying his face closely, she probably would have missed the look of surprise that crossed it when he spotted her standing at the bar.

She watched as he made his way across the club. When he finally got to her side he gave her a wink, asked if she “came her often,” and ordered a shot of tequila from the bartender.

When the bartender set the shot down, Lorne lifted Sam's wrist, brought it slowly up to his mouth, watching her face the entire time. He licked the inside of her wrist, and poured salt on the wet spot. Sam was startled for only a second, until she realized what he was doing and then she smiled at him because they were in a club, and he looked really hot in his tight black tee. Lorne licked her wrist again and quickly downed his shot. He set the shot glass down on the counter with a clink.

He wrapped his hand around her arm, his eyes still trained on her face, and tilted his head towards the dance floor. She nodded and he smiled as led her towards the music.

Sam didn't recognize the song they were playing but it had a good beat and Lorne had rhythm so she stopped trying to figure out what this all meant and just let him pull her into the crowd and into the music.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and ran his hands up and down her back, stopping every so often to play with the base of her neck. When he started grinding his hips into hers she wished they were anywhere that wasn't this public. And he must have felt the same because he pulled away and guided her to a dark corner behind a curtain.

Then his hands were dipping lower and higher and wow he was not the straight-laced major she thought she knew. And suddenly she was glad she had kept up with the tradition of coming to this club to blow off steam.

And then he started kissing her neck and she stopped thinking at all.

I've never really done this kind of thing before, have you?

Dr. Carson Beckett was the last person Sam had ever expected to find herself in a compromising position with. She had only met the man a few times and then there she was stuck in a maintenance shaft straddling his waist.

It had all started so innocently. He was in the infirmary packing up and running tests for Atlantis, and she had come in with a burn from a failed mock ZPM power test. He wasn’t even on duty, but he rushed right over as soon as he saw her, clucking over her burns and mumbling something about Rodney being careless.

Two hours and twenty seven minutes later, the universe, as part of its usual conspiracy against her, had landed her stuck in a maintenance shaft with the good doctor.

After 20 minutes of flailing and apologies from both parties, Sam had tried to crawl over Carson to push at the door and that was how she ended up in a precarious position. Straddling a Scottish doctor, her body trapped between the wall and his chest.

Carson was trying to move around to get her loose but every time he shifted, he ended up rubbing his body against hers and causing more friction and that friction turned her on, and she could tell (unless he had a sidearm he hadn’t told her about) it had a similar effect on him.

It was dark in the shaft so she couldn’t see his face but given their close proximity she had felt the heat coming off of his cheeks, so she assumed he was blushing. She leaned in to tell him it was okay, but when her lips got close to his ear all she really wanted to do was kiss him, so she did.

Carson jumped at the first touch of her lips, and while his initial response was hesitant, he quickly got into it and the next thing she knew his hands were on her hips as he pulled her closer and his mouth was on her neck licking, kissing, and sucking.

And maybe, being stuck in a maintenance shaft with Carson Beckett really hadn’t been such an uncomfortable situation after all.