Disclaimer: Most characters property of DC Comics and borrowed 
without permission, but just for fun. The Potatoverse and Spud belong to 
Smitty, Bert belongs to Kerrie. They said it was okay that I play. This fic 
was originally written for Kerrie's birthday lo these many years ago. 
 
NOTE: This comes before Spud's adoption by a few weeks. 


Spud and the Very Important Day 
by Chicago 
 
 
**** 
 
 
Spud woke up the way he did every time he woke up in the Manor: he sat 
bolt upright and spent a long, still minute remembering where he was. The 
room was slightly smaller than home ("You do realize, Master James, that 
before Master Bruce was born, this room was a linen closet? I don't see 
why you insist on sleeping in Master Dick's old study."), although the bed 
was bigger ("But Alfred, what if Buckshot needs to find me in the middle 
of the night and I'm on the wrong side of the bed?") and the furniture was 
a lot heavier ("Spud, next time you decide you want to rearrange this 
room, let's get Bruce to do it, okay? He likes impossible tasks."). 
 
Once Spud had figured out where he was, he tried to figure out what had 
woken him up. That took even less time, because he could hear the shower 
running and Dick's humming through the wall that the head of his bed 
rested against ("Don't let Bruce soundproof it, Alfred. This way Spud can 
hear us rummaging around, and we can hear if he wakes up in the night."). 
 
Spud got an Idea and turned around in his bed with a grin. Kneeling to 
reach above the headboard, he slammed the side of his fist into the wall 
three times. The humming on the other side of the wall ceased, then he 
heard a sound like a shower brush rapping on the pipes two times. 
 
"Dick, don't encourage him! And he's never going to get that reference 
anyway," he heard Babs voice through the connecting door of their rooms. 
As she opened it and entered, he heard Dick laugh. 
 
"That's probably a good thing, Babs!" he called, then resumed his 
humming. 
 
Spud twisted around again so he sat facing Babs. She was wearing sweats 
and a loose T-shirt. Spud secretly thought that she looked most beautiful 
like that, but he wrinkled his nose at her anyway. "Aren't you s'posed to be 
all pretty and stuff?" 
 
"And good morning to you, too, Spud." Babs was trying to sound 
offended, but Spud could tell she was laughing. 
 
"'Mornin'," Spud muttered, rubbing the sand dust out of his eyes.  Mommy 
had explained to him once that there was this guy the sandman who put 
sand on people's eyes to make them sleepy and give them dreams. He 
knew that Dinah had a friend called Sandman a long time ago, but he 
decided not to ask her about it in case Mommy might have had some facts 
mixed up. 
 
The sand dust gone, he looked back at Babs. "What reference?" 
 
"What?" 
 
"You said I wouldn't get the reference." 
 
"Oh. It's nothing important. Just an old song." 
 
Spud cocked his head. "Like you and Dick listen to?" 
 
He watched Babs make her eyes wide. "Oh no! Like *Tim* likes to listen 
to sometimes." 
 
Spud scrunched up his face in disgust. Sometimes Tim had okay taste. 
Other times, especially when he spent too much time at his parents' house 
- ew. He changed the subject before Babs could decide to sing him a bit of 
the song. "So how come you're not all dressed up and stuff yet?" 
 
Babs chuckled. "Well, Spud, we've got to get my hair and nails done and 
then there's the make up and -" 
 
Spud covered his ears. "It's too complicated! Why are girls so weird?" 
 
Babs wheeled closer to the bed. "Because otherwise you guys would 
figure us out, and then where would we be? Now, up and at 'em, Potato 
boy." 
 
"Who's Adam?" 
 
"Huh?" 
 
"No, not 'huh,'" Spud protested. "You're supposed to say, "The Atom is a 
superhero who shrinks really small and if you don't hurry up and get up, 
I'm going to give him your breakfast."
 
Babs looked at Spud sideways. "Dick told you that, didn't he?" 
 
Spud bounced out of bed and onto the floor. "'Course. Dick's full of 'em." 
 
Babs shook her head, following Spud as he padded back through the 
connecting door into the room she shared with Dick. "Yeah, Dick's full of 
something, all right." 
 
"What'd I do now?" Dick protested, one towel wrapped around his waist 
as he vigorously dried his hair with another. 
 
Spud flopped onto his back on his parents' bed and hung his head upside 
down off the side. "I was just 'splainin' to Babs about Atom eating my 
breakfast." 
 
"Well, he's going to eat your breakfast if you don't hurry up and get 
showered, kiddo. Clean towels are -" 
 
"I know where Alfred keeps 'em," Spud interrupted, stretching his hands 
down to the floor and then flipping his legs off the bed. 
 
"Make sure you wash your hair," Babs reminded him. 
 
"I know," Spud called, even though he hoped she would forget. That was 
the second worst part about the Wedding, he decided. The first worst part 
was that all those rich, snobby people would be there ("You know what 
that means, Spud." "Yeah. No biting."). 
 
******* 
 
Of course, the Best Part of the Wedding (even though it meant he had to 
wash his hair and wear a stupid tux) was that he had a Very Important Job. 
Grandpa Bruce had even asked Spud himself, because he said Spud was 
one of the people who helped him and Dinah get married.  He told Spud 
he needed him to be in charge of the rings ("And that's much more 
important than any stupid flowers like Lian's got.") to make sure they 
didn't get lost or anything. 
 
Of course, there was the cushion problem. They had this little cushion that 
the rings were supposed to stay on, except they kept slipping and almost 
falling on the ground unless Spud walked super slow ("C'mon, Spud, 
you're holding everyone up. Sheesh, can't you even carry a pillow right?"). 
And at the rehearsal they weren't even using the real rings, because those 
were too Special. Today - that made him kind of nervous. What if he 
dropped the real rings? And the Wedding was outside. What if the rings 
got lost in the grass? 
 
He was waiting at the door to the outside when Dick pulled him aside to 
give him the rings. "You're in charge, now, Spud," Dick said solemnly. 
"Me and the rest of the guys have to go out now so we don't see the bride 
before she comes down the aisle."
 
"Shouldn't I be outside, too?" Spud asked, crinkling his face in confusion. 
"I'm a guy." 
 
Dick ruffled his hair. "But we need a *spy*, Spud. Y'know, just in case 
someone tries to replace Dinah with some other girl that wants to marry 
Bruce. Then we'll need advance warning so we can break away and go 
rescue Dinah and make sure Bruce doesn't marry the wrong girl." 
 
Spud thought about this. "But how will I let you know?" 
 
"Hmm." Dick looked thoughtful. "How about this? You give us an okay 
sign when you first come out if everything's okay. And if it's not okay, 
then just shake your head and stuff like you're shooing away a bee. How's 
that sound?" 
 
"But what if there's really a bee?" 
 
"C'mon, Spud, you know better than to shoo at a real bee." 
 
Spud smiled bravely. He did know better, but he still didn't quite believe 
Dick's explanation that bees would leave you alone if you didn't bother 
them. "Okay," he agreed. 
 
"Great. Keep an eye on the ladies for us, Spud. We're counting on you." 
 
"You got it, Dick." 
 
Dick slipped back out, then, and Spud decided to practice giving the okay 
sign with the rings on the cushion. It didn't work. Everytime he did it, they 
just slipped off. It was worse when he tried the bee thing. 
 
He thought for a long moment. Maybe if he just kept the rings in his 
pocket until he gave the signal and then sneak them onto the cushion while 
everyone was watching Dinah... 
 
Yep, that would work, he decided. 
 
And he slipped the rings into his pocket. 
 
******* 
 
"At least *I* know how to do my job at a wedding!" Lian snapped. "I 
*told* Dinah you were too young to do it." 
 
"I didn't want them to get lost!" Spud defended hotly. "And *Grandpa 
Bruce* asked me to do it, and if Bruce thinks I'm old enough, I think he 
knows more than some stupid little girl." 
 
"Lian not 'tupid. She pitty," Bert interjected, beaming at the older girl. 
 
"What do you know, Gator boy," Spud grumbled, snatching at the stuffed 
toy Bert had somehow managed to bring to the Wedding. 
 
"Hey! Spud! Give it back!" 
 
"I thought your dad said he didn't want to see it here," Spud retorted, 
holding the Gator over Bert's head. 
 
"Lian, help!" Bert appealed, and Spud suddenly found his arms pinned to 
his side as Lian caught him in a bearhug and began working the Gator 
free. 
 
Oh, no, Spud thought, turning his weight to throw Lian over his hip the 
way Cass had showed him to deal with a bigger enemy attacking from 
behind. Lian fell on her butt with a startled, "oof!" 
 
"Spud! My dress!" she cried, looking for all the world as if she would 
either deck him or start weeping. 
 
Spud danced back from her, still holding the Gator. "Serves you right for 
pickin' on - OW!" He jumped back as Bert's little leather shoes took 
perfect aim at his shins. 
 
"Let Son of Krypton GO!" Bert demanded. 
 
Suddenly there was a grown up hand on Spud's wrist and he released the 
Gator. "Spud, Dick wants to see you," Tim was saying. 
 
Spud froze. Dick had seen this? After all the Best Behavior reminders? An 
uneasy feeling worked into the pit of his stomach, but Tim wasn't looking 
at him. Instead he was still talking. 
 
"Bert, I thought I told you I would only help you smuggle Gator in if you 
agreed to keep him inside. And Lian -" 
 
"But-" 
 
"No buts, Bert. Take him inside. I mean it." He was using the grown up I 
Mean It voice, which Tim almost never used. 
 
"Lian, the bridal party is ready for pictures -" 
 
"But my dress!" Lian protested, struggling to her feet. 
 
"Let me look - not a grass stain in sight. And I'll bet Cass will show you a 
defense for that move if you ask. Now -" 
 
Tim took a step back and almost tripped over Spud. 
 
"Spud?" he asked, and Spud looked up pleadingly at him. 
 
"Is he mad?" he whispered. 
 
Tim's expression softened. "Hold on a sec, Spud. Bert, Lian - get moving." 
 
Tim's hand rested on Spud's shoulder as he waited for the other children to 
leave. Then he knelt in front of Spud. "You okay, Spud?" he asked. 
 
Spud only stared mutely at him, feeling a lump traveling into his throat to 
match the knot in his stomach. 
 
Tim offered the Smile - the one that always made Spud feel better. Except 
this time Spud was Worried. He didn't want Dick to be mad. "He's not 
mad, Spud," Tim reassured. 
 
"But - but - I took the Gator and threw Lian and messed up the rings 
and -" 
 
"Wanna hear a secret?" Tim interrupted. 
 
Spud blinked, swallowing the rest of his sentence. 
 
"Dick gave me his and Babs' rings about a week before they got married 
because he said he knew I'd be responsible with them and I got so worried 
about it that I figured the safest place for them was my Belt because that 
was one thing I knew I'd never forget anywhere." 
 
Spud nodded in understanding. They couldn't really talk about any pajama 
stuff openly because the press was everywhere, but he knew what Tim 
meant. The utility belt of his Robin suit. 
 
"Only problem was," Tim continued, "we had a really long night Out the 
night before and I fell asleep in the car on the way home and completely 
forgot about the rings. I just snuck home and crashed and didn't remember 
at all until I was ready to leave the next day for the wedding and I called 
the Manor and no one answered." 
 
"What did you do?" Spud breathed, suddenly more caught up in Tim's 
story than in his own worry. 
 
"I panicked, and I came back to check my belt knowing it would make me 
late, but the rings weren't there." 
 
Spud stared incredulously. Tim didn't lose things. Tim *was* responsible. 
And Spud knew Dick and Babs got their rings, because they wore them all 
the time. He waited for Tim to go on. 
 
"So I left for the wedding and drove like a maniac and prepared to pull 
Dick aside and confess everything, but as soon as I got there, Bruce was 
waiting for me." 
 
"He had them?" 
 
"Yep. And boy, you should've seen the Look he gave me. But he never 
told, and I never told, and now you're the only other person who knows." 
 
The Only Other Person. Spud felt the knot in his stomach loosening. 
 
"And," Tim added, "the only reason I'm telling you this is that I used to be 
the youngest in the Family and now you are and we young 'uns need to 
stick together." 
 
Spud nodded enthusiastically, but his heart was lightened more because 
Tim said he was in the Family. Not that he thought they would get rid of 
him, exactly, but the adoption had got Hung Up and he didn't want to 
make more trouble before he was officially Dick and Babs' little boy. 
 
"So you ready to go see Dick now?" Tim asked. "They're going to be 
taking a whole slew of pictures and you've got to be in 'em and someone's 
got to make sure Dick's tie stays straight since Alfred's busy with the 
caterers." 
 
Spud nodded and took Tim's hand. "Let's go!" 
 
***** 
 
Spud thought Dick was kidding when he told him not to fill up on 
appetizers ("Are you hungry?" "When am I not?"), but now his tummy 
was saying that maybe he should stop eating little lamb chops and fancy 
stuffed mushroom caps. And *still* the grown ups weren't done taking 
pictures. 
 
Spud sighed. He was bored. And hot. 
 
Really hot, actually, now that he thought about it. 
 
He squirmed in his tuxedo jacket. Dick had loosened his tie for him when 
he had sent him off to the reception, but he had warned him that Alfred 
would notice in a heartbeat if he wasn't perfectly in order. 
 
Spud thought for a moment. He just had to be perfectly dressed when he 
was where the other guests were. But there was the fountain on the east 
side of the estate - probably in the shade at this hour. Glancing around to 
make sure no one was paying special attention to him, he snuck away. 
 
As soon as he was out of view of the other guests, he stripped off his 
jacket and removed his tie. He would need help to get it tied ("Spud, 
honey, you let Dick show you how to tie that, didn't you? Let me fix it."), 
but he wanted it off now. He tucked it carefully into his jacket pocket so it 
wouldn't get lost. Then he unbuttoned the choking top button of his shirt. 
 
Next to go were the shoes and socks, and he stood for a long moment with 
his bare toes tickled by the cool grass before he put the socks inside the 
shoes. He couldn't wait to get his feet in the fountain! 
 
But he didn't want to get his pants wet. With careful folds, he rolled up 
each of his pants legs to just below the knee (he actually rolled one all the 
way to his knee, but then the ring of material around his leg made it hard 
to bend his knee, so he unrolled it one time). Finally ready, he slung his 
jacket over one arm and picked up his shoes with his other hand and cut 
through the grounds to where the fountain was. He could hear it splashing 
as he approached, and he picked up his pace. 
 
Then he froze. 
 
There was someone already there. A Grown-Up. 
 
Spud hesitated. The man (even though he had a really long ponytail, he 
must've been a man because he was big and wore a tux) had his back to 
him. It would be easy to slip back to the crowd without him noticing. And 
if he was a Bad Guy, he could warn somebody. 
 
Except Spud didn't think Bad Guys sat around with their feet in a fountain 
looking lonely. He decided to approach the fountain on a different side 
from the man and try to figure out who he was. That way if he was a Bad 
Guy, Spud could probably run away before he could get grabbed. 
 
So Spud skirted the fountain and came up to it on one side. "Um -hi," he 
said. 
 
The man (who had a really long beard, Spud noticed now) started and 
blinked at Spud. "Hello," he answered. He had a funny accent. 
 
"Does Alfred know you're sitting in the fountain?" 
 
The man gave Spud a curious look. "It seems like you had the same idea." 
 
Spud knew his face was getting red - he could feel it. "Uh, yeah, but I'm 
kinda family, y'know. And it's hot." 
 
"Yes it is," the man agreed, stirring his legs in the water. 
 
Spud watched him for a minute. "Who are you?" he finally asked. 
 
The man chuckled, but it didn't sound like a happy sound. "Guest of the 
bride," he said. "My name is Arthur." 
 
Spud scrunched up his face suddenly, squinting at the man. Arthur? Of 
course! With his hair pulled back and the tuxedo shirt it was hard to 
recognize him, but Spud had seen him on Babs' monitor before. 
"Aquaman?" he asked. 
 
Arthur's head jerked up and he examined Spud's face narrowly. "That's 
right. And you are -?" 
 
"Spud," Spud answered, sitting down on the edge of the fountain.  "How's 
the water?" 
 
"Huh?" 
 
Spud didn't wait for an answer, opting instead to plunge both feet in.  He 
was prepared for it to be icy, but it was actually not too bad.  "So," he 
began, "why are you hiding here?" 
 
Aquaman gave him a strange look. "I'm not hiding. And who are you 
again?" 
 
"I told you, I'm Spud." Spud knew that Babs and Dick and Dinah often 
rolled their eyes when they talked about Aquaman, but he didn't realize 
that it was because he was a little slow. "Are you hiding 'cuz people were 
saying you and Dinah had sex?" 
 
"What?! I never - I would never - who's been spreading these rumors?" 
 
Uh oh, Spud thought. That was definitely a Grown Up Getting Angry 
voice. "Oh, everyone knows you didn't," he reassured carefully. "Just - 
you know - before everyone knew it was really Bruce's baby - you know." 
 
"Ah!" Aquaman said suddenly, like he was making a discovery. "You're 
Dick's boy." 
 
"Yeah, that's what I said," Spud pointed out impatiently. "And if you aren't 
hiding because of the baby thing, why are you here?" 
 
Aquaman didn't sound so angry anymore. "I'm not hiding. I just need 
water sometimes. And I don't really understand all those people out there." 
 
Spud nodded. "Me, neither. They're all snotty and stuff." He glanced over 
at Aquaman. "They think I'm an animal boy or something." 
 
Aquaman's brow furrowed. "Are you?" he asked. 
 
"No," Spud snorted. "I just don't see why they have to be all fancy rude 
and stuff." 
 
"I don't, either," Aquaman sighed. "They always make bad fish jokes and 
nasty comments." 
 
"You do kinda smell like fish," Spud observed, watching his toes wiggling 
under the water. 
 
"Really?" 
 
"Yep. Prolly 'cuz you hang out in the ocean so much, I guess. What's it 
like?" 
 
Aquaman blinked at him. 
 
"I mean, Babs and Dick's place is really different from where I used to 
stay. And Bruce's place is really *really* different. But I never lived in the 
ocean or anything." 
 
"Did people really think I had - had an affair - with Dinah?" 
 
Spud shrugged, slightly annoyed at not having his question answered but 
recognizing a Preoccupied Adult. "Only for a day or two. They were 
mostly worried what Bruce would do when he found out." 
 
For some reason, Aquaman found this very funny and began laughing 
heartily. Spud stared at him in confusion. "What's so funny?" 
 
Aquaman gradually sobered. "Young man, they *should* have been more 
worried what *I* would have done to *him* if I found out he had ever 
disrespected or dishonored Dinah." 
 
This *really* confused Spud. "So you do kinda like her?" 
 
"Spud, is it? Dinah was one of the first surface dwellers to treat me like a 
man instead of a freak. I care for her like a brother might." 
 
"Oh." Spud thought for a minute, remembering the way Scorch used to 
look after him. The memory felt out of place here, in the middle of the 
Wayne Estate, and that made him feel a little guilty. And sad.  "I used to 
have a brother," he said. 
 
When he looked back up at Aquaman, the man's face had softened and he 
was looking at Spud with gentle eyes. It wasn't pity, though - that would 
have made Spud angry. Instead, Aquaman looked like he was 
remembering, too. "I used to have a little boy," he finally said. 
 
Spud nodded and stared back into the water. Maybe living in the ocean 
was just like living on the streets - dangerous for little boys. 
 
Suddenly he caught a blur out of the corner of his eyes and he saw 
Aquaman's head jerk up just as his did. Then a young man stood next to 
the fountain, his tux looking crazily wind blown. 
"Okayguysyougottacomeandeatbecausethey'reservingdinnernow," he 
blurted. 
 
"What?" Spud asked, but the man was already gone in a blur. "What was 
that?" Spud asked Aquaman. 
 
"That," Aquaman said heavily, rising to his feet, "was Bart. They're 
serving dinner." 
 
Spud pulled his feet out of the fountain and turned, rubbing his feet in the 
grass to try to dry them enough to put his shoes and socks on. He struggled 
back into his tux jacket, aware that Aquaman was already put back 
together and was waiting for him. Spud struggled with his collar button, 
his tie wadded into one hand. Alfred was going to be Annoyed. 
 
"Let me," Aquaman suddenly said, kneeling down to Spud's eye level and 
rescuing the tie. Faster than Spud would've thought possible, his tie was 
on and straightened. "Now," Aquaman continued, rising and holding out a 
hand, "let's go eat." 
 
***** 
 
Lian might have been upset that her seat was not at the head table with the 
wedding party ("But I'm *not* a little kid! I can behave like a grown 
up!"), but Spud couldn't be more thrilled with his seating arrangement. 
Okay, maybe Cass was off limits now that she and Tim really *were* 
having sex, but the woman on his left? *She* was a hottie. 
 
He made his face into his winningest smile as he slid into his seat.  "Cass. 
Tim," he greeted formally. Then he turned to the beautiful woman. "I don't 
believe we've met," he said smoothly, holding out his hand. "Scranton. 
James Scranton." 
 
The response was perfect. The woman threw back her head and laughed a 
warm, throaty laugh (and so did Cass and Tim and pretty much everyone 
else in hearing range, but Spud ignored them). Then she accepted his hand 
with a smile. "Pleased to meet you, James. I'm Lois Lane." 
 
"The pleasure's mine," Spud replied levelly, returning her hand shake 
because he wasn't quite sure how to kiss a lady's hand like they did in the 
movies that he watched with Babs. 
 
"Are you Dick and Babs' son?" Lois asked. 
 
"I'm working on it," Spud answered, earning another winning smile from 
Lois. 
 
"Spud is little buddy," Cass supplied, and Spud was torn between being 
annoyed at the "little" part and flattered by the "buddy" part. 
 
"I see," Lois nodded. "Well, James, let me introduce you to my husband, 
Clark Kent." 
 
Spud looked across the table to the man who sat next to Tim. He was 
kinda dorky looking, with glasses and a hesitant smile. Spud felt deflated. 
Why were the good ones already taken? And always by the glasses 
wearing types, too. "Hi," he said flatly. 
 
"Good to meet you, Spud," Clark said. 
 
"Yeah," Spud sighed, looking down at his plate. At least there was good 
food. 
 
****** 
 
Spud sat on his knees at the kitchen table in his t-shirt and tux pants. 
Alfred already had his tuxedo shirt in the washer ("No sense letting that 
grape juice stain set, Master James. And I could use your help in the 
kitchen anyway."), and now Spud had the Very Important job of sorting 
the family silver into a large velvet lined tray. The caterers were finally all 
gone, and now it was just him and Alfred in the kitchen while the grown 
ups drank and danced in the cool of the evening. 
 
Spud was just putting the last soup spoon in the larger spoon shaped spot 
when he caught a motion out of the corner of his eye. Curious, he went to 
the kitchen door. 
 
"Oh, excuse me!" a woman gasped as she almost ran into him. 
 
Spud narrowed his eyes at the flashy blonde. "Who are you?" he 
demanded. 
 
The woman smiled brightly. "My name's Goldie. I was just looking for 
Alfred -" 
 
"You're a reporter, aren't you?" The Manor was off limits to non-family, 
but he had heard Dinah saying that the reporters would likely try to sneak 
in anyway. 
 
"Why, yes!" the woman exclaimed. "You've heard of me?" 
 
"No." Spud stood firmly in the doorway, trying his best to use Dick's 
Nightwing glare. "You aren't supposed to be in here." 
 
"It's okay," she breezed. "Alfred always has some Chocos for me." 
 
"I don't think so." 
 
The woman's face grew flustered and she finally looked at Spud more 
closely. "And are you the kitchen guard?" Her tone sounded amused, 
which didn't sit well with Spud. 
 
"I'm Spud," he said. "Bruce is my grandpa, and I don't know you. Get 
out." 
 
"Master James," Alfred's voice sounded, "where have you - oh! Miss 
Johnston!" 
 
"Alfred!" the woman called Goldie exclaimed. "It's been an age!" 
 
Spud stared at Alfred as if he had taken leave of his senses. The butler was 
smiling warmly, his hand on Spud's shoulder. "Come in, come in. I'll go 
get the Chocos from the pantry."
 
"Alfred!" Spud hissed. 
 
"It's okay, Master James," Alfred soothed. "Miss Johnston is an old friend 
of the Family." 
 
He said family with a capital F, and Spud knew what that meant. But this 
reporter? That didn't make any sense. He stared at Goldie. "Are you sure?" 
he asked. 
 
Goldie began to laugh. "Who do you think taught Dinah the best way to 
dunk Chocos?" 
 
Spud blinked. He knew the answer to that one, and by all accounts, it was 
... a tall, green, shape-shifting Martian. "J'onn?" he squeaked, finally 
moving aside to let Goldie through. 
 
Goldie's laugh deepened a bit. "In the flesh," she replied, winking. "But 
don't blow my cover, kid." 
 
Alfred hustled back into the kitchen and opened the bag of Chocos in his 
hand, pausing to spread them out on a plate before setting them on the 
table. "I must say, Miss Johnston, that you are fortunate that I wasn't 
driven to break into that package myself today." 
 
"It was quite a show, wasn't it?" Goldie agreed, scooping a cookie from 
the plate and biting into it with a satisfied sigh. "I've never seen them 
happier." 
 
Spud watched curiously as an intense kind of relief flitted across Alfred's 
face. "I am glad to hear it," the older man acknowledged, setting down two 
full glasses of milk. 
 
"You aren't joining us?" Goldie asked. 
 
Alfred shook his head. "I'd best get the limousine ready for the drive to the 
airport. And set out the smaller suit downstairs." 
 
"He's got the boys working, has he?" 
 
Alfred smiled, looking both weary and somehow happier than Spud 
remembered seeing him before. "Wedding present," he explained, 
"although it will be interesting to see how well Master Bruce manages 
a vacation." 
 
Goldie snorted. "He's taking Dinah with him. There'll be sea monsters." 
 
"Indubitably." 
 
Spud watched this exchange increduloulsy, his mind still struggling to put 
the familiar broad green face of Martian Manhunter on the brassy reporter 
sitting at the table. Once Alfred had left, that self-same reporter looked at 
him curiously. "Are you going to join me?" she queried, nodding toward 
the chair beside her. 
 
Spud cautiously took the indicated seat, reaching for a cookie. He 
continued to stare at Goldie. "Really?" he asked. 
 
As if in answer, Goldie's features blurred for a second, assuming a green 
tinge as her eyes glowed redly. Spud heard her answer in his mind rather 
than in his ears. *Yep.* 
 
"That's so cool! Can you be anybody?" 
 
Goldie nodded and morphed suddenly into a mirror image of Spud. 
 
"Whoa!" Spud exclaimed. "That's just freaky." 
 
"Quite," Goldie remarked dryly, returning to her former form. 
 
Spud hesitated. Maybe freaky was the wrong word. "I'm sorry -" he began. 
 
"No apology necessary, James. Ready to dunk?" 
 
Spud held a new cookie over his milk. "Ready!" he confirmed. 
 
In a simultaneous motion, Spud and Goldie sank the lower third of their 
cookies into the milk and counted to four. Then they popped them into 
their mouths with satisfied grins. "Tha's good!" Spud mumbled around the 
cookie. 
 
"Yes it is," Goldie agreed, reaching for another cookie and studying it for 
a moment. 
 
Spud swallowed his mouthful and leaned back in his chair. He watched 
Goldie look at the Choco and thought she looked as lonely as Aquaman. 
"You can finish 'em," he offered gallantly, for a rare moment truly stuffed 
to bursting and not at all hungry. 
 
Goldie looked up, startled. "My apologies, James. I'm afraid it has been a 
long day, and it is easy to be comfortable around you. I forgot myself for a 
moment." 
 
"Why are you sorry? Is it 'cuz you're sad?" 
 
Goldie took a bite of the Choco and chewed thoughtfully for a moment. 
"Yes, I suppose it is. Because this is a happy day for your new family." 
 
"Yeah," Spud agreed. "Too many people, though." 
 
"Yes. And memories." 
 
Spud thought about this for a moment. "Dinah always says that it's okay to 
be sad sometimes, but brooding really just needs a good kick in the ass." 
 
Goldie started, erupting into laughter. "Yeah, that's Dinah all right." 
 
"And Babs told her that she's going to get lots of ass-kicking practice now 
that she's married Bruce." 
 
Impossibly, Goldie began laughing harder. Spud beamed and picked up 
another Choco. 
 
"Spud," Goldie gasped, finally controlling her laughter and holding a 
Choco up as if in toast, "you're a great kid. And you definitely fit in 
perfectly." 
 
Spud tapped his cookie against Goldie's and settled back contentedly. 
Because, he figured, if you couldn't enjoy sharing Chocos with a Martian 
at Batman's wedding, what could you enjoy? 
 
The end.