Sea and Sky XVI:
Interlude 2 (500 Words)
Warnings: M/M slash implied. If this concept disturbs you, read no further.
Fandom: Modern comicsverse. Sixteenth in the "Sea and Sky" series, the previous parts of which can be found at http://www.offpanel.net/kerithwyn/.
Disclaimer: All characters property of DC Comics. What I have done with them is mine.
Except that won't happen. Despite everything he waited for me to make up my mind, to come to terms with myself. All of my fears. Even Bruce.
I can't even imagine what I've done to deserve that kind of patience, so all I can do is try to be worthy of it. Because it's as simple as this:
I want him. I want him in my life.
In some song there's this phrase, "the heartless sea"...and in knowing Garth, I've never heard a more inaccurate description. He has a depth of--empathy, almost, that simply draws those who take the time to know him. Yet in some ways the shyness I remember is still with him, changed into a kind of elegant reserve that isn't cold or off-putting in the least.
He's...gentle, for all his power and the losses he's suffered. And he *is* powerful. I think his own potential makes him wary of exerting his full ability. It's kind of awesome to stand back and realize that the boy who quit the team because he felt was too "weak" to stay with us has become, power-wise, one of the strongest Titans the team's ever had. And Garth is strong in other ways, too.
Strong enough to put up with *me.* Now that takes some doing. Something else, too, that I think is even more important: He balances me.
Kory did that, once upon a time. When I was tempted to fall into the pattern Bruce had set and emotionally withdraw from everyone I cared for, she drew me out. She never let me hide from my own feelings. Her energy, her passion, gave me the strength to forge my own identity.
And where sometimes now I go *too* far in the other direction, pushing my limits just to prove I'm not turning into Bruce, Garth can steady me.
I think...I think that's what really terrified me, when I ran from him. After being off-balance for so long, pulled one way or the other, the idea of that balance was just too much. To see the potential of it, and then the fear of losing it again--
But I won't. Not again.
And the thing is, all of this had to be so much harder on him. Time to make up for that, now. It's so easy to see how good he can be for *me* that I hope I can be what he needs, too. I'll do my best to make sure of it. He deserves everything I have and more besides.
This is going to be good. I can feel it. I won't let anything get in the way of that, most especially not *myself.* It won't be easy, but I'm not afraid to work for something this great.
I'm sleepy. I'll see you in the morning, lover. I can't wait to get started.