Someone Blue (Lar's Version)
A Tale of the Legion of Super-Heroes
Disclaimer: All characters property of DC Comics. What I have done with them is mine.
Warnings: Character study. Slash. Specifically, sex of the m/m variety. If this concept disturbs you, read no further. It might be useful to read Jo's version first.
Rating: NC-17. Children, hide your eyes.
Summary: Set directly after Ultra Boy was accused of murder and then exonerated, in LSH 239. Mon-El comes to apologize to Jo for not believing in his innocence, and Jo wants more than "I'm sorry!" Lar's POV.
Thanks to Dannell, She Who Channels Mon-El and tells me that he approves. *whew*.
What do you do the day after you've betrayed your best friend?
If you're Lar Gand, you brood. I do that well, I'm told.
Even my lady-love Tasmia, who shows me infinite patience even at my worst, had enough this time. I'd been bemoaning my own faithlessness and lack of trust in Jo. No, of course he hadn't murdered An Ryd, but I was all too willing to capture him for the crime anyway, as if his friendship and heroism all these years meant nothing. I didn't deserve his friendship after that. I didn't know how to apologize; surely, no poor words of mine could make up for this betrayal--
Her tone stopped me. "Uh..."
"Have you tried to apologize?" Only Shady gets that mixture of tolerance, annoyance, and amusement into a couple of words, and it usually sets me right.
She sighed. "How about you try, before you decide that he hates you forever, hmmm? Tinya and I are going out for the day. You should go talk to him. You know Jo--I bet he already understands you were only trying to do what you thought best."
Guilt. I'm good at that, too. "Well, obviously, I didn't."
She rolled her eyes. "One thing at a time. Let him forgive you, Lar, and then you can work on forgiving yourself." She kissed me goodbye and left.
I knew she was right; she usually is. I dithered around our quarters for awhile, trying to figure out how to make my apology. Then I heard Shady in the back of my head say, "Just go, already!" and I headed over to his and Tinya's rooms before I could figure out how to depress myself any further.
I knocked, and he answered. "Jo. Can I come in?"
"Sure, Mon. What's up?" No resentment, no anger. I've never met anyone with as big a heart.
I stepped into the room, took a deep breath, and said, "I came to apologize. I'm sorry, Jo. I should have known you'd never do anything like that."
His eyes were clear and guileless as he said, "It's okay, Mon. You were only doing what you thought was right, and..."
I couldn't stand it. I grabbed him and hugged him, hard. He means so much to me as a friend, and I didn't have the words to express how sorry I was for not believing in him.
I heard his breath catch, but didn't think anything of it. After a moment, he moved back a bit and looked me in the eye. "Mon, you want to make it up to me?"
What a question. "Of course!"
"Good." And he leaned up, and kissed me.
Every neuron in my brain stopped firing, all at once, and every nerve in my body lit up. I didn't know Jo felt this way, would never have said or done anything to make him uncomfortable. "Lar Gand, you're an idiot," I told myself--not for the first time, or the last--and kissed him back.
I wasn't about to turn down this gift, his offering of himself in friendship and maybe even love. There haven't been that many women in my life, and before this, only one man. On Daxam, my brother Del was the handsome one; he got all the girls. I had a habit of falling madly in love with his girlfriends. That was long before Shady, of course, and a thousand years had passed for me in the Phantom Zone before I again felt the touch of another's hand on mine. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Only Tasmia had touched me since I was set free, and she knew how desperately I needed to feel that touch, the simple fact of warm flesh after a thousand years of emptiness in the Zone.
Shady would cheer this, I could hear her already. Talok's society is matriarchal, and her women make the rules. They are, as Tasmia puts it, eminently more practical about such matters than men. She would understand that whatever passed between Jo and myself had no bearing on my love for her, and changed nothing. But she wasn't the only one involved here.
We broke the kiss at the same time, gasping. Jo was grinning, a beautiful smile. I was still trying to process the whole thing, and had to ask, "But...what about Tinya?"
He had a very satisfied look on his face. "Not an issue. Trust me."
Trust. That's what it came down to, wasn't it? I hadn't trusted him enough to believe that he wasn't a murderer, and he trusted me enough to put our friendship on the line by kissing me when I might not have accepted it. The familiar refrain of, "Lar Gand, idiot" started up again in my head, but this time I wasn't in the mood to listen. I wanted to feel that touch again.
"Oh, I do. Jo." I grabbed him, trusting his invulnerability to protect him from bruising, and pulled him against me. I was trying to get his clothes off without tearing them--Shady's lost more outfits that way than I can count. His hands were flat on my back, pulling me even closer. Strength to strength--this felt so good--
Suddenly he pulled his mouth away. "Mon--Lar--hold up a second."
Now he wanted to wait? "What?" My voice was rough and impatient. To have the promise of a touch, and then to have to wait--
You'd think after a thousand years, I'd have learned something about waiting gracefully.
He said, "I'd like--" and then he blushed. "I want this to last."
That refrain: "Idio--" No. Shut up. I breathed in, breathed out impatience, and thought about this gift I was not going to ruin with foolish haste. I needed to know what he expected. "Okay. Slow. Got it. But, uh, do you want..."
"Lar, I want everything. 'Cause we've only got this one time."
"Why--oh." Of course. Tinya'd probably given him the okay for a one-time thing, to "get it out of his system," or something similar. Well, I wasn't about to insult her indulgence by refusing. "Special dispensation, right?"
"Yeah." He reached for the clasp of my cape and watched it fall to the floor. "I want you to know how long I've been wanting to do this."
Not as long as me, Jo, I can tell you that. I just smiled and said, "I wish you'd let me know sooner." I couldn't stand the thought of being disturbed, so I sent the Monitor Board the signal for privacy and was glad to see him do the same. "I really do care for you, Jo."
I kissed him again, gently and thoroughly. 'Everything', huh? Oh, I hoped he meant it. Meanwhile, he deserved my full attention, and my best attitude. I'm prone to chronic depression, but it was banished for the day; this was not the time.
I felt his muscles tighten and then suddenly I was flying across the room, not under my own power. I landed on the bed and laughed, then stopped laughing as he moved toward me and dropped his clothes. My mouth went dry as I looked at him, strong and perfect, and I wanted to touch him so badly.
"Sooo..." he drawled, "now that I've got you, whatever will I do with you?"
Anything. Please. He wanted to play; I could oblige. I placed my hands behind my head, and said, "Whatever you like."
The right answer, obviously. He asked me to undress and I did, watching his face, wanting to remember every nuance of friendship and caring and good, honest lust mirrored there.
He stood and looked at me for a long moment, and I was afraid that he might change his mind. Powers and spirits, Jo, don't--
I needn't have worried. He lay down next to me, warm skin against mine. Teasing, I said, "Thought you were getting cold feet for a second, there."
In response he bit my nipple in just the right way, and soon he was moving down my body with his tongue and teeth, and it was so good...I couldn't...
Sex makes me incoherent. Shady finds this very amusing: Mon-El, Daxamite hero and commonly regarded as the most powerful Legionnaire (I believe Element Lad deserves the title moreso than I, but that's neither here nor there), completely undone by a touch. Perhaps it's simply my body's reaction to stimulus after a thousand years of deprivation, or perhaps it's something else entirely. There's a reason we're more reserved publicly than some of the other Legion couples; it simply would not do to have Mon-El melt and moan in front of the others.
As I was doing, under Jo's mouth. And then his lips were warm around me and his tongue danced and the world exploded in a bright flash that took me to pieces as I cried out and then fell into darkness, for just a moment.
The first time we were together, I scared Tasmia half to death when I fell over her in nearly a dead faint. Afterward she laughed and looked smug, and swore to see how many times she could reduce me to that state. Truthfully? We've lost count.
I muttered something reassuring to Jo--he was looking a bit nervous himself--and got myself under control. Then it was my turn, and I set out to show him just how much I appreciated his friendship and this opportunity to express it. I knew exactly what I wanted, and Jo seemed...pleased...when I told him. To feel his strength in me, to lose myself in him--to not be Mon-El for even a moment, but just Lar. To lose control.
Which is something I cannot do with Tasmia. No matter how satisfying our lovemaking, I can never forget my strength with her. I would not hurt her, for all the worlds. Jo's power would protect him.
But first...first, what I needed. Have you ever been hungry? I mean really hungry, as if you were dying? That's how I felt about Jo, right then and there. Looking down at him, he smiled at me and I was completely lost. Starving. When I touched him it made me dizzy. So when we were ready I pulled him over me and then into me, and he began to move and the world disappeared in a brilliant haze of pleasure.
Of course, afterward my treacherous thoughts tried to pull me out of the calm and into a post-coital depression of the worst sort—the kind where I start to wonder if I truly deserve what I've been granted, or if my partner could possible understand what it meant to me, or (in this case) what it all meant. Just sex? Or something deeper?
No. Not this time. I grabbed Jo up and took him into the shower, letting my incipient emotional trauma flow down the drain. I touched him, memorizing the feel of his body. I would not jeopardize his relationship with Tinya, would never ask for this again unless it was all right with both of them. But I would have a shining memory and the fact of his friendship, and that would be enough. Later, that would have to be enough.
We still had an afternoon, and we made good use of it.
"Well?" she asked.
"Tasmia--we--I mean, Jo and I, we--" Silly to get tongue-tied now, but...
"What? You....Oh!" Her eyes got wide, and she sat down. Collapsed, really. "You didn't."
"We did." Now I was grinning at her reaction.
She started to giggle.
No, really. My self-possessed Shadow Lass, giggling on the floor like a schoolgirl. I went over and held her as we laughed together, and I don't think I've ever loved her more.
"Oh...Lar..." she gasped. "Oh, my goodness. Tell me...oh, you have to tell me everything."
"Shady! I didn't know you found Jo so exciting!"
"Oh, Lar." She took my face in her hands and kissed me, deeply. "Not him. You. Shades of Talok, what a picture!" She got a faraway look in her eye, and I knew exactly what she was seeing. She chuckled again. "That must have been some apology!"
"It was...more that that."
She smiled. "I'm not surprised. He really cares for you. And I know you love him."
Tasmia always knows my heart. "I do. But never more than you, my love."
"Mmmmm! You're such a romantic." She snuggled into my arms and looked up at me, smiling.
Jo is my friend--and for one day, something more; but my soul rests in her.
Lar - Lar Gand, aka Mon-El. Legionnaire. Planet of origin: Daxam. Super strength, invulnerability, flight, vision powers, the works; think a slightly older, more depressed version of (pre-Crisis) Superboy. Pictures: http://www.jdhancock2.com/lsh/monel.html (Lightle (yum!) Grell, Cockrum version)
Jo — Jo Nah, aka Ultra Boy. Legionnaire. Planet of origin: Rimbor. Same powers as Mon-El, but on a slightly weaker scale and Jo can only use them one at a time (invulnerability OR super strength OR x-ray vision, and so on). Pictures: http://www.jdhancock2.com/lsh/ultraboy.html (Grell, Perez, Lightle, Cockrum version)
Shady — Tasmia Mallor, aka Shadow Lass. Legionnaire. Planet of origin: Talok VIII. Darkness-projection powers. Mon-El's long-time lover.
Tinya — Tinya Wazzo, aka Phantom Girl. Legionnaire. Planet of origin: Bgtzl. Phasing powers. Ultra Boy's long-time lover.