thanks to J.C. from whom I quote parts of two lines. 'Night Pleasures' is
and it's hers/his. Not mine. And you should read it. At Complete
Kingdom of Slash.
All other titles listed are also real. You should
read them too. None are mine. I'm
too modest to advertise for
This was supposed to be slash. It just never happened. Fictives are sometimes stubborn that way. Consider it a sequel ( of sorts ) to Just-Ass. Just not on film. It's the answer to "What would BW think if he saw this site?" In view of human nature, I'm sure they exist, and the Bat knows all about them. He's the Bat, after all. But this way is more fun.
Hot Linksby Darklady
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Don't even own a web site. All complaints expressed herein are the opinions of Mr. Bruce Wayne, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author, who actually enjoys and appreciates the work of archivists.
Location: Hornet-verse ( That means slash.) But not much here.
Archive: Here, natch. All others please ask first.
It's nine thirty, and quiet with the busy type of silence, when I step onto the executive floor at Wayne Industries. I nod at the floor receptionist who is reading into the phone, and stroll on back to my own office. No one in the outer office, so I look around.
Shondra, with an armload of folders. Why is she doing her own lifting?
"Mr. Fox's wife called, and she said he's staying home with the flu." Right. Flu epidemic. Dr. Leslie mentioned that. "So I told Linda to send the urgent reports over here." She speaks with that rush that says she has nothing to apologize for, but thinks she should anyway. "So you can see them." Shondra's my new secretary. Otherwise she would know that I never get urgent anything,
She's standing there, and the files are slipping, so I take them.
"Sure, Shondra. Whatever....." I glance at the labels.
"That's the Wissis deal, and the Powers files." She points at the envelopes. " And,oh yes" She produces another from her in box. " The quarterly report from Security. Marked urgent." A proud smile for having remembered that.
"Security?" I heft the thick manila. What the hell was Fox doing with.... I look down. Big red logo blazoned on the other side. Oh. That security. I had almost forgotten we employed Pinkerton. When I hear security I think of Jean-Paul or Dinah - but there is another world out there. Might as well read it. No reason not to. Perhaps I should see the level of incompetence I'm paying for these days.
I give Shondra my best smile.
"If Lucius calls tell him just to rest, and that Thomson will take care of things." Safest answer. I'd tell him I would, but that would guarantee Lucius Fox would be out of his bed and back into the office before lunchtime. And I honestly do want him to get well.
I head back to my desk, tossing the folders on to the polished mahogany. Wissis I knew. No need to read that. I wrote it. Powers is more iffy, but that info will have to wait on Oracle. Until then - it can wait on my desk as well as any others. Pinkerton report? Why not? Light reading. And I'm not busy just now. Wonder what they find to fret about? Nothing much, or I'd know that too. Jean-Paul was out to dinner the night before last. Hard Cases checked in before breakfast. Still.. I open the envelope and pull out the navy binder. Flip it open with one hand while a pour a mineral water with the other.
Computer use? OK. Although Oracles filters would report any transmission of sensitive data. Still, I give them credit for the thought. Wonder what they think they caught? I know we block porn sites. Don't want the phone bills. Don't want the lawsuits either, not to mention the lost work time. Shopping gets bad in December, but I try to be reasonable. After all, if they aren't hunting presents on line, they'll just skip out to the malls. Either way the people are useless, but at least if they're on line they're useless here.
Scan past the business bull. Why do these people think long is impressive? I'm not paying by the word. Page three before there's any info. Ah.
List of frequent sites:
*athenian.com - Pass that one. Could be work related. We pay for a lot of reference books down in R&D.
*nipster.net - Kill that. I don't object to good music. And that pink-noise stuff is incitement to homicide. But until the lawsuits are settled - we don't need the sharks nibbling on our ass. People can just bring in a radio if they want music.
*tik-it's.com - Pass. It's a waste of time, but if my employee's don't order here they'll just waste more time on the phone.
*superhero's-uncovered.net - WhAAAT? I do a literal double take Someone has a site dedicated to uncovering superhero's identities? And Someone - someones - at Wayne Industries is regularly signing on?
My first thought is Oracle. She should have caught this. Calmly. I center. For all I know she did. She is not requires to inform me of every lunatic web site out there. I reach for the com-link, then remember. Babs will be in physical therapy until 2 PM. No problem. Babs may be my expert, but I'm not totally dependent on her. Even here, without decent tech, I should be able to handle this myself. Especially as the Pinkerton chaps have conveniently given me the full address.
No reason Bruce Wayne can't give this a look-in.
I hit the intercom. "Shondra. Hold my calls."
The G4 is pathetic next to my usual Cray, but it should do. Not the same machine I remember. Fox must have updated. Same server icon, at least.
I'm playing this as a mundane, so I type in the addy and wait. And wait. Weren't these DSL lines supposed to be fast? It must be ten seconds before the page opens, and then it's just another sign-in. Am I 18? What is with these people?
I click yes. Another endless wait. Nearly half a minute
Memo: Talk to Johnson in tech. See what can be done about this. I'm paying for all this lost work-time.
Florid graphics unfolding at slug speed. What did I expect. Probably some cheap site set up by wacko's who think Hawkman is serving an alien political power. Such crap. Clark never complains, but I know it must hurt him. Sometimes I want to wince when I hear people make those casual xenophobic remarks, never stopping to think of the aliens they could be offending. And that garbage in the Investigator. Inquiring minds my ass! Saying Kal is really green and scaly with tentacles. Morons. Everyone with half a brain knows that's J'onn. And he's only scaly sometimes.
More buttons? My newt identity is about to be Boredom-Man. What is with these people? I read down the list. Awards? Huh! Fat chance! Mailing List? They send out flyers? This is a fund-raiser? Links? There's more then one of these? I shudder at the thought. No thanks. At least for now. One endless wait has been more then long enough. Art? I was right about the scales. Stories? That's more like it. Straight to the libel, and see if they have anything I - I mean we - should worry about.
Shit. Another list. What is with these people and lists. Maybe there is money in this. They've paid for three pages already and still nothing to see. And quite a list. They must put out some sort of magazine. Lets see: Amazo (3) Aquaman (14) Atom (7) - I scan down quickly. Batman (64) Large number. Bad sign. I glance down. Half as many as Nightwing, but still. I would prefer a bit less interest. Even so, it is the best place to start. Who better to know if they are getting close.
Click again - and it's .. yes... list number four. Lengthy and alphabetic. I scan down.
Evolve or Die?
Nite after Night after Knight?
It goes on, but I don't.Those don't exactly sound like the headlines at the grocery stores. Not that I've seen any recently, but still.... Might as well pick one. That bit about death? Could be some Nietzscheian implications. No. Big file. Start with the Night file. Only one part there, and I'm tired of the delays. I click again and wait. And wait.
Finally. Text. I speed-read. Bunch of legalistic crap. "No intent to violate the thirty-seventh amendment/ No persona infringement intended "- Yeh! Tell it to the lawyers. I scroll to the story.
By the second line I drop my jaw. 'Nightwing wants the Bat to come out and.......' What!!!!! My eyes drop a line or two. 'On my knees!!!!!!' What kind of crap is.... Reading this is like watching a train wreck. Sickening, but impossible to look away from. Six pages, and I finish it without breathing. Two parts. I ought to think this through, but my mind seems a bit fuzzy. Possibly because my blood supply has headed south. All of it.
I each for the water glass. People are reading this? A deep breath. Maybe this is an anomaly. I should check out a few more before coming to any conclusions.
I try the next one in line. Nightwing and that blond looser Tad? Never. The last chapters are better, except that Kal also has better taste. And now days he's married. Although that's not public knowledge, so I suppose you can't blame them for missing one detail. And they are detailed. Very detailed.
How the hell did they notice the mole on Dick's neck. Not that it's a secret, but his kevlar does cover it. When did they see..? And how did they know about the foot rubs? No one else knows about that. Do they?
I flip back. Maybe I should check out a few of the longer works. Several of them. Also, of course, I should investigate the other stories as well. Protect the JLA. Show concern for the rest of the hero community. And Dinah say's I'm self-centered.
I quickly page back. Who should I start with. Flash? Superman? Should be someone I know. Aquaman. They have him linked up with... me? No way! I'd rather kiss Guy Gardner.
That's a thought. Not a good thought. but... I click over to Green Lantern. He's there. Not as long a list as Hal, or even Kyle, but still... I foresee some quiet days on Luna. Hal is with? I check. Flash mostly. No way. I could believe Hal, but Barry? White bread all the way. Stewart and Darkstar. OK, public knowledge. Girlfriends are noticeable when they're blue. Kyle and... Conner? Wasn't he with Jade just a while back? But they would make a nice couple.
Detail are wrong, of course. At least the civilian part. Sometimes the public part. Some stories are better researched then others. Still, I must grant them credit for imagination. And for writing. I find myself reaching down without thinking, then.... no! Control! This is a business office. Besides, I don't have another suit. And I can't leave. Dick is meeting me for lunch. In - I glance at the clock - thirty minutes.
What? Have I spent three hours on line?
I almost sign off, but then.. no. Better to wait until Dick gets here and go over my findings with him. I had promised we'd go out, but he'll understand. And Florio's delivers. Yes. Dick is definitely the best person to go over these with. Immediately. I buzz through to my secretary.
"Shondra?" Why is my voice so tight. Change that.
"Yes, Mr. Wayne?"
"Put an order in with Florio's. Lunch for two. Thirty minutes. Here. Chef will know what I want"
There. I sit back and smile. Short notice, but they should still get here before Dick. Good. We will be able to - consider this - undisturbed. At length. Great length.
Another buzz. "Shondra?"
"Yes, Mr. Wayne?"
"Any afternoon appointments?" I'm fairly certain Lucius mentioned some, or why would I have come in.
"Norris in Finance at two, Sir."
Not vital. "Tell him tomorrow. And tell our Pinkerton agent tomorrow morning. I'll want to go over his report in some detail."
That takes care of that. For now.
I know my duty. This should be reported to the JLA legal department at once. But first.... I set a worm to copy the entire file. AND all the links. AND all their links. Purely for reference.