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5-Puppy Love.html For those who remember the more recent 'pick up line generator'?

I put in Billy Batson and I got... well... you'll see.

It inspired a fic called...

Puppy Love

A (mostly) Captain Marvel Story

by Darklady

Disclaimer: I don't own zip. Not even the plot bunny for this one.

Slash: Well... post-slash

Pairing: Captain Marvel /Superboy. Established relationship.

Sequel to: Marvels. And everything before that, natch.

Rated: PG (mild squick factor - off screen)

Archive: Ask first

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"Hi Con." A black haired man in body-hugging spandex and flowing cape was standing in front of the open refrigerator. Nothing strange about that. Except that he was *not* Clark Kent. The visitor was spectacularly, heart stopingly, *unnaturally* handsome, even in the unflattering glow of refrigerator light. Again, nothing strange about that. Except that, again, this was not Clark Kent. "Beer?"

"You kidding? You know the Kents 'd kill me." Conner Kent dropped a kiss on the back of the bent neck. "Rolling around in the hayloft, that's one thing, but underage drinking?"

White teeth glittered in a perfect smile. "I'm not underage at the moment."

"So I've noticed." Connor Kent shoved past the man - with only a moderate bit of rubbing up and body to body bumpage. Feeling around the top shelf, he emerged with a Tupperware pitcher. "The apple lemonade's pretty good."

"K" Captain Marvel settled by the kitchen table while Con poured two glasses.

"So..." Con sent a half-smile Marvel's way. "Not that I'm not glad too see you but...? Kansas is a bit off your patrol route."

"I need to talk with you."

Con's rump hit the chair. Probably harder then gravity alone would account for. "Was it something I...?"

"Did? Not recently or often enough." Marvel reached over, running his hand over the younger man's. "You're great, Con. No. I just... wanted to see you."



"OH!" The young hero half-stood, left arm reaching blindly for his leather 'S' jacket. Which should not - technically speaking - have been hanging on the pantry doorknob, but Superboy was not entirely up on the secret-identity thing. One of the reasons that older-brother-Clark had him 'exiled' to Corn-ville, rather then letting Con hang out at Titian's Tower ( or better yet, an apartment of his own ) where both beer and boyfriends would be a *lot* more accessible.

"Not like that... just.." Marvel closed his eyes. Maybe to savor the tart-sweet of the iced drink. Maybe?

"So?" Con made a hand gesture that might have meant anything. "Talk."

Marvel undid the top two buttons of his red jacket. "'s... school."

"Hey" Con laughed. "If this is about homework you're on your own. Because... I've got enough of that. I mean - love ya - die for ya - but for algebra you're on your own."

"I'll remember that the next time *you* tank on a test. Remember, I started school back in the says when kids were expected to *study*."

"And walk seven miles in the snow."

"Uphill both ways."

Connor squeezed past, heading for the other kitchen chair. Marvel - William - aimed a swat at his backside. Just in passing. Just to remind Con that cute went only so far. Although it missed. And even if the blow had landed it wouldn't have done much. One of the big benefits of dating your own kind, Marvel thought. You didn't have to be so careful when things got physical. Which didn't mean only in bed.

Con grinned and wiggled his butt. Just to say 'message received' and 'so see if I care'.

Marvel snorted. One of the *dis* advantages of dating in the ranks. Or was it an advantage? Whichever. Kon-El had gotten over the 'Gosh-gee-Captain' sometime between the second date and the third fuck. Which was a good thing. Mostly. Definitely. He didn't fly to Kansas to talk to the president of his fan club. He came out to talk to his *friend*.

"Forget the seven miles.. is about school."

"Your's, I hope. 'Cause if you came all this way to rag me about my math homework...?" Connor pushed back, balancing on the back to legs of the kitchen chair. Or maybe just floating."

"Mine. Billy's." He took a deep swallow of apple lemonade. "I was walking back from school today..."

Connor rocked forward. "You you or Billy you?"

"Billy me, of course."

"Thought you were supposed to ride the bus?"

"Did - for a while - but there were these rough boys and... "

"They hassle you?" Connor nodded. Yeh. That'd be a visit from planet Bad-Idea. Although the way the Cap was about Billy's identity? He'd probably let the brats pound on him rather than zap the little pricks. Con was pretty certain that's what Superman would do too. One of the reasons Kon-El wasn't entirely cool with the secret identity jive.

Marvel nodded back. "I got 'Uncle William' to write me a note saying he'd pick me up."

Con didn't comment. It was sort of obvious that Billy's 'Uncle William couldn't *actually* pick the kid up after class.

"So you were waking back to your place?" Because if Billy was going with his 'uncle', he wouldn't be taking the school bus. And if he wasn't willing to 'Shazam' he couldn't fly. So?

"It's not that far."

Well, not if you were a near-immortal near-centurarian who still remembered walking those streets twelve hours a day hawking papers. Which was sort of like Metropolis was 'not far' from Smallville. Which was not an argument that passed much muster with Pa Kent. (Con knew. He had tried. ) But since arguing with William was one of those waste-of-breath things? (Much like arguing with Pa Kent. Con was careful to cut off further mental comparisons. ) Con just let it go.

"About 5th and Broadway this strange man came up to me." Marvel paused, then clarified. "Billy."

"How strange?" Con leaned forward - and maybe lifted half an inch above the chair. "Are we talking three heads or something?"

"Not... visibly."


Marvel obviously thought for a bit. Con saw his mouth open - shut - then open again. Which was... sort of a shock. Not the answer - or whatever that was - but that Cap would have to *think* before answering. Anything. Every. Because he was 'Wisdom of Solomon' guy. Even more then Clark 'Knowledge of Krypton' Kent.

"I don't *think* it's a physical thing. Directly."

Con didn't know what to say to that, so he just waited.

"Anyway" Marvel continued. "This... maybe strange... man. He comes up to me... to Billy me ... and he says... 'Excuse me. Have you seen a puppy? Little, and furry, and brown'?"

The thump was Con's rump hitting the chair. Because even in Smallville, where people really *did* lose small dogs, that was one of those questions that...Well, the Kents hadn't given *him* that talk, but Con figured that was because he was sixteen and living on his own before he had even meet the couple. They had given him the 'watch who you go out with' equivalent.

Con suspected that if he hadn't been dating Captain Marvel he'd have been involuntarily celibate. Or dating the prom queen.

(Jonathan Kent viewed the Cap with a certain awe. Even if JK was Superman's dad. And even if he sort of had to know Marvel was gay. What with William dating Connor and all. And him sleeping over in the barn loft. With Connor. But apparently if the Big Red Cheese did it, then that was somehow different. Con would have pointed out the obvious hypocrisy - except that he didn't *want* to start dating a cheerleader.)

"And you said?"

"I said..." The muffled gurgle might of been a cough - but was evidently Shazam. Because the light flashed and a really cute fifth grader in a red jumper was sitting on Martha Kent's daisy print vinyl. "No sir. I haven't."

That earned a snort.

Billy look was suspiciously innocent. "Well, I *hadn't*."

Con rolled his eyes. "You are so *gay*"


"Not like that." Connor's tone added the 'you goof'. "So? What happened?"

"So then he says, and here I'm quoting, '
Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street
'. "

It was a good thing Connor had already swallowed his juice, or he would have choked. Either that or sprayed. "You didn't."

"I did."


"Well, he MIGHT have lost a dog."


"OK. So I'm not that stupid. But some kids are."

"Which is why we have PBS afterschool specials. But go on."

Marvel did. "I followed him across the street. He must have paid off the desk clerk in advance, because no one stopped him in the lobby. Then we get in the elevator, and he says... 'I have something furry you could pat, little boy'."

"And you said?"

"And I said... 'Shazam'."

The word was followed by the usual burst of light. Followed by the reappearance of Captain Marvel on the other side of the table.

"Oh... god..." Con nearly choked on giggles. (Not that he giggled. Because men didn't. But... he was sort of not-breathing in a giggilish sort of way. Which got worse every time he imagined the pervert's face. Or the hotel clerk's face. Or even the beat cop's face. Because the arrival of the last was pretty much inevitable if Batson had done the full-out-shouted crack-of-thunder bolt-of-lightning Justice-League-is-here S*H*A*Z*A*M. )

Eventually Con he managed to swallow his laughter ( and not his tongue ) and force out a "So?".

"So the man had second degree burns. From the lightening."

"So?" Con asked, smiling.

"So..." Marvel looked a lot less amused then Con. "I'm wondering if I over reacted?"

"Excuse me?" Con focused his eyes on his friend. Because if he let his mind picture the zapped felon he'd be laughing again. "Wisdom of Solomon?"

"Solomon died a long time ago." Marvel ran his fingers though his hair. It made him look like William again. "Was it wrong? I mean, to lightning-zap someone just because...?"

The rest of the sentence was cut off. Mostly by lips, as Con flew over the table and kissed his boyfriend breathless. Because really - there was nothing - absolutely nothing - else he could do. "A child molester? Fried?" Con went in for another kiss. " Dude. That was so right it was... beyond right."

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And the moral of the story is... There are some times when violence IS the answer.


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