Sea and Sky:

Bad Dreams

by Greenygal



Okay. For the record, the following contains shameless mocking of Jay Faerber's run on TITANS (as well as a few other things). No personal insult is intended. Anybody who liked these issues...bail out now, 'kay? Also anyone who wants a plot, or action, or anything but a little D/G silliness. Still here? Cool. :) Oh, and, you know, absolutely not ours, not at all. Which is kind of a shame, but oh well.

 

 

*eyes snap open* "Garth!"

"Mmm?"

"I had a horrible dream that we let some DEO orphans into the Tower, and they blew it up!"

*yawns* "I told you not to eat Roy's chili before bedtime."

"It was just a little."

"Apparently not. Why was the DEO employing orphans?"

"No, no, they were *raising* them. Because they had powers. Only the kids wanted to live with us instead..."

"And we let them? We're not very well set up for childcare; it's hard enough trying to find a sitter for Lian who doesn't turn out to be a double agent."

"I think we felt sorry for them."

"Even after they blew up the Tower?"

"This was before that."

"Didn't we have any better ideas?"

"Well, Gar wanted to take the kids away and turn them into Titans West."

*starting to laugh* "Did we let him?"

"I don't...think so."

"I can't imagine why."

*frowning* "And, and Jesse..."

"Ah. Was this one of *those* dreams?"

"No!"

"You know I'm not jealous, Dick..."

"Gee, thanks. *shudders* It was awful."

*dryly* "I'm sure Jesse would be flattered."

*rolls eyes* "I said it wasn't like that."

"So you're saying a beautiful, intelligent, long-legged blonde featured prominently in your dream, but there was no sex."

"No. Well, yes, but--quit smirking, Garth. Look, I'm going back to sleep now."

*grinning widely* "No, no, go on, this is fascinating. Was there sex, or not?"

"Yes, but not with *me*."

*clicks tongue* "Too bad. With whom, then?"

*winces* "Her mother's fiancÚ."

*blinks* "Jesse? Our Jesse? You've been watching Oprah again, haven't you?"

"Hey, *I'm* not the one with the soap opera addiction--"

*primly* "They're a fascinating cultural artifact."

*snorts* "Uh-huh."

"I may regret asking this, but was *I* in this dream at all?"

*eyes widen* "Yeah--you were married to Dolphin! With a kid! And they were living in the Tower!"

"That's it, no more chili ever again."

"And you...sent Atlantis to another dimension."

*laughs* "Had Arthur particularly annoyed me that day?"

"No, he...was dead. You were trying to save the city from what killed him."

"...oh. *pause* Dick, this isn't some kind of odd wish-fulfillment on your part, is it?"

"Garth!"

"Sorry."

"I may think he's a jerk, but that doesn't mean I--"

"I know, Dick. I didn't really mean it."

"Besides, you don't think I'd *wish* for you to be married to Dolphin."

"It depends--was *I* cheating on my lover? Perhaps with a more...acrobatic choice of partner?"

"We were just friends."

"Truly horrifying. So I assume you were all alone? Poor Robbie..."

"Actually...um..."

"I thought you said there was no sex with Jesse. Was it after the fiancÚ?"

"I SAID it wasn't like that!"

"Well, you can't blame me for wondering..."

"I was with Babs. Sort of. It depended on the day...."

"*Barbara*?"

"It was a dream!"

"Yes. A dream in which *you* got to sleep with your first love and *I* had to make do with Dolphin. I feel slighted."

"You *did* sleep with her, you know."

"Yes, and then I stopped. You remember that part?"

"Every day, with enormous gratitude."

*purrs* "Sweet-talker. So were there any other intriguing oddities in this dream of yours?"

"Well, Roy was dating a DEO agent, sort of--"

"A definite improvement over the international assassin. Although probably just as likely to shoot him."

"And Toni moved in with Jesse..."

"Ah, so *Toni*--"

"You have a one-track mind, you know that?"

"You're the one who keeps bringing the woman up..."

*sighs* "No, Toni and Jesse weren't...doing anything."

*frowns* "So why did Toni move in then?"

"...I'm not sure... *snaps fingers* But Toni was dating an eight-year-old, maybe that had something to do with it.."

"...this is going beyond odd and into the realms of deeply disturbing. Perhaps you just shouldn't eat anything spicy ever again."

*wryly* "Only seafood?" ;-)

*blandly* "A preferable choice, certainly."

*eyes widen, suddenly horrified* "And we let a total stranger into the Tower!"

"Several of them, according to what you said already."

"Besides the kids! A *supervillain*!"

*blinks* "Were we in an especially self-destructive mood that day?"

"We didn't know. Exactly..."

"You didn't run his history back to early childhood before you were satisfied?"

*frowning* "That's just it, I *did* run checks...only then I didn't tell you guys about it."

*sighs* "This is one of those Bruce anxiety dreams, isn't it? Dick, I promise you, you're nothing like that. Well...not much."

"...thanks. I think."

*grins* "Any time."

*frowning* "There was something else...." *sudden wince*

*raises eyebrow* "More?"

"No--! No. Really."

"Ooh. Good part?"

"No, no, nothing--just dream stuff, you know, not coherent--"

*grins slyly* "You're ly-y-ing."

*whimpers*

"Remember what I do about that?"

"Oh, shit, Garth, no, don't tickle--!"

*several fits of hysterics later*

"Want to tell me now?"

*panting* "No."

"All right, then--"

"GARTH--!"

"I can keep this up all night--"

"Jesse!"

"Ah, the plot thickens again! *Did* you sleep with her?"

"NO!"

"But..."

"*mumbled* Butwewentonadate."

*grinning* "Say that again."

"We went on a date!"

"And all this time you've been telling me my suspicions were unjustified. *shakes head sadly* It's the blonde hair, isn't it. "

"It wasn't real!"

"I *know* that, Dick, it was a dream. A bizarre and disturbing dream, but a dream. Otherwise we'd have to have a *long* talk-- *sudden grin* --in which you told me *all* about it."

"No, I mean, *in* the dream it wasn't real. She was just trying to get her mother off her back."

"She was trying to make it up to her mother for sleeping with her fiancÚ by dating you? Well, it's a novel approach."

"No, no, this was before that. Her mother was nagging her to have more of a social life, so we sort of...faked it for a night."

"So you're saying you and the elegant Ms. Chambers went out for conversation, dinner--dancing?"

"I don't think so."

"Ah. In any case, you went out together and parted only friends?"

"Something like that."

"In that case, she doesn't deserve you--anyone with half a brain ought to have seized the opportunity. And you."

*cautious look* "Was that a compliment?"

*slow smile* "You're the bright Batboy, you figure it out..."

*pauses* "And if it was?"

*smile widens* "I think you can figure that out too."

*pauses again* "I'm about to get seized, aren't I?"

"I knew you could do it. It's all your fault, after all."

"Not that I'm objecting, but how do you figure that?"

"You're the one that got me up in the middle of the night to tell me how you were dating people that weren't me. So if I feel the need to make you forget all *about* certain blondes and redheads, you only have yourself to blame."

*considers* "I can live with that."

"I thought so."

"Do I get to make you forget about white-haired women, too?"

"Maybe if you're very good."

"What if I'm very *bad*?"

"Even better. But enough talking..."

 

 

{end}